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Life in Damascus, Syria
Syrians consider themselves to be at the heart of Arabic
culture, they and are extremely nationalistic and proud of
their beloved Souria. A stroll down most any street in Damascus
or the outlying areas, at any time of day, will give you a
tremendous feel for family life in Syria. There's always something
going on, no matter what time.
Early morning, you'll awake with a start from vendors hawking
produce or kitchen gadgets for the home. Some of these vendors
have horse drawn carriages with richly ornamented animals,
festooned with all manner of decorative beads, woven things
or religious amulets. Vendors ride through the streets with
canisters of propane cooking gas, for example, beating out
an insistent tattoo with a ball pein hammer on the metal canisters.
Also delivered to your door is produce, fruits, and labneh
- cheese. The latter is found floating around in plastic bins,
jiggling in the back of a pickup truck.
In Jeremana, a suburb about 15 minutes south of Damascus,
where a large number of Druze live, it's not uncommon
for several houses of family to live within about a 1-3 block
area of each other. As Syria has one of the highest birth
rates in the Arab world, here, like most suburbs, life is
booming. 4-story concrete apartment buildings, one flat per
floor, built by the government adorn the blocks. They're perfectly
adequate dwellings, with several bedrooms, a large salon or
sitting room, an enormous kitchen and often a backyard courtyard
and several outside porches. Often a family will buy whole
buildings, opening up a flat upstairs from the parents when
a son or daughter marries and starts their own family. This
makes it easy for Syrians to pop out for frequent visits to
relatives, drink lots of tea, eat sweet snacks and gossip
- a favourite pastime!
Syrians adore large, boisterous family gatherings with lots
of food, socializing, dancing and fun. It doesn't take much
of a suggestion for a group of Syrians to "make a party"
- then out come the kababs, musical instruments, singing and
debke dancing- a sort of line dance found in the region.
Syrians are very warm-hearted, sentimental people, with close
family relationships. Westerners who visit may be uncomfortable
at first - the concept of "personal space" is vastly
different in Damascas than say, Chicago. People tend to stand
closer, sit closer, make more eye contact and kiss both cheeks
as a form of greeting - with three kisses, right-left-right,
between close friends. Even men commonly walk down the street
holding hands, or sit and talk with their arms around one
another. This is not to say you will be the victim of unwanted
touching, as good manners are extremely important and "aahjnabees"
(foreigners) can usually be recognised.
Dancing the Debke
The Debke is the national dance of the region; there
are different steps for each area. Syrian, Ayssyrian, Palestinian,
Jordanian and Lebanese each have their own slightly different
step. It's a dance usually done by a line of men - though
women do join in enthusiastically as well - with the first
couple of dancers in the line jumping, twirling a white handkerchief
and doing a wild improvised dance, based on the simple repeated
steps of the rest of the line. If you wish to learn Debke,
you'll likely have many opportunities, as it's a dance that
busts out even in Arabic nightclubs located in the States.
You can really learn a lot about Arabic culture simply by
going to a Middle Eastern restaurant in your area - as well
as get a good feel for the food you will find there. Talk
to the restaurant owners, or staff and watch the invitations
to "my cousin's hotel-restaurant-rug shop" begin!
It will make your trip that much more fun and personalised.
The Druze People
Syria, Lebanon and Jordan have a large population of Druze.
The symbol for Druze is a five-pointed star, with green, red,
blue, white and yellow points - you sometimes see these stars
on cabs or on the front of businesses. The Druze religion
is similar to the American Unitarian faith. The Druze are
very secretive, do not attend mosques or pray openly. It's
not possible to become Druze, even by marriage, you cannot
"convert". Druze tend to marry other Druze (often
marrying first or second cousins) and then new members are
born into the religion. Druze have a fierce history, and have
been somewhat warlike in the past, but today live peacefully
and freely throughout most of the Arab world. They are the
only Arabs that are allowed to serve in the Israeli army -
a large number of Druze live in Israel and the occupied Golan
Heights.
Family Life
It's common for natives you meet to immediately inquire if
you're married - and if not, why not? How many children do
you have - and if you're married, why don't you have lots
of children already? Family is extremely important in Syrian
culture, children are petted, spoiled and kissed constantly,
and are usually extremely well behaved and quiet. It's rare
to see a petulant child throwing a trauma in public.
Dress and Fashion
The local mode of dress varies wildly depending on where
you are. Damascenes who live in the city, dress very stylishly
and fashionably. Syrians are usually "dressed up"
when they go out into the street. Syrian men are extremely
fastidious about their grooming - this translates into hundreds
of little barber shops around the city, where all the men
seem to get the same neat haircut and a perfectly done clean
shave. Facial hair is not especially popular, but you do see
many moustaches - with varying degrees of flamboyancy. Men
are usually dressed in slacks, shirt and black leather shoes.
Leather jackets are sometimes worn even when it's extremely
hot out. Syrian men, in addition to being an extremely handsome
lot, are usually dressed and pressed well, although you do
see the occasional white socks with dark pants faux pas.
Lebanese women are the fashionistas of the Arab world, turned
out in the most stylish of ensembles. The women are breathtakingly
beautiful, and strut around in impossibly high heeled boots
and shoes, clad in high end designer gear with lots of elaborate,
perfect makeup. You do see a few women wrapped in the traditional
Muslim hijab, but in Lebanon it is very rare. You'll see that
a bit more in Syria - where there is also considerable freedom
of religion, and a bit more in Jordan, which is slightly more
conservative.
Older men wear keffiyahs, the traditional Arab red
and white or black and white chequered headscarf, with gellabahs,
or robes. In Druze areas, the women will usually be wearing
black dresses (they seem to mourn the dead for an inordinately
long time) and sheer white scarves draped over their head.
Very old Druze men will wear crisp white shirts, and roomy
black harem-type pants with sandals. Many have enormous moustaches
and sometimes wear turban-like headgear.
Freedom of Religion
Syria, and to a slightly lesser degree, Jordan, has freedom
of religion. There are Muslims, Christians, Jews, Coptics,
Druze and practically any other religious denomination you
can think of living all mixed together in apparent harmony.
In Syria, there are Christian churches, synagogues, temples
and mosques. You hear the call to prayer, see people praying
in the mosques and Christians coming out of churches on Sundays.
Life for Women
Women can drive freely here in Syria and in Lebanon also,
and these ladies sure can drive. When crossing the street,
a huge black Mercedes may whiz past with only a white headscarf
visible behind the wheel, careening down the street.
Women can also live alone here in Damascus, if they wish,
as there is no government regulation against women having
their own apartment or property. Family pressure to stay at
home for both men and women means that singles living alone
are still somewhat rare. Women are not singled out in the
discouragement of the solo lifestyle, men also live at home
until they are married. Whilst there is choice, most choose
the bustling family life rather than the solitude of living
alone before marrying. After marriage, it's common to live
quite close to one or both sets of parents.
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